My Dreams Get Weirder Every Night
by Bremilyfan
Summary: Mattex, based on a dream had by someone on Tumblr in which Matt and Alex switch bodies... tehe :  Rated M just in case
1. Chapter 1

Hello, lovely people. This is my first Mattex fic, and oh my god it is a total crack!fic. So weird. But give it a chance because it's such fun to write! It was inspired by a tumblr post by .com about a Freaky Friday-esque dream about Matt and Alex. So yeah guys. It's super weird. Oh well!

This chapter got its name from I Want to Hold Your Hand by the Beatles

Chapter 1

Yeah, You Got that Something

Matt Smith simply adored Alex Kingston. He got to flirt with her and joke with her and hang out with her, and sometimes he would be convinced that she adored him back, but he knew she was the kind of person who, kind and wonderful, seemed to adore everyone.

He didn't know her quite as well as he knew Arthur and Karen, who truly were his dearest friends, but he felt like he was getting there. Series six brought them together, definitely. There had been more tension in the scenes between them, _especially_ sexual tension, and he was hoping that would continue through the seventh series.

Matt had decided that he and Alex were going to be _great _friends. He would make sure of it, starting tonight, because she would start filming for series seven today. He, Karen, and Arthur were taking her out, and she didn't have much say in the matter.

"ALEX KINGSTON!" Matt shouted across the parking lot as he watched her get out of her car. He was leaning against the wall of the studio, looking as cool as ever waiting for her arrival.

She smirked and waved as she gathered her things. "Hello, Sweetie," she smiled as she approached. "You weren't out waiting for me, were you?"

"Oh no, there's this other gorgeous woman showing up to day. Been waiting for her," he smirked.

"Ah, of course. And what does she look like?" the grin on Alex's face could keep him playing this game forever.

"A lot like you actually!"

"Oh?" impossibly, her smile grew wider.

"Yeah, better hair though," now his grin matched hers.

"Oh really?" she laughed.

He pulled her into a hug, nodding. "It's true," he smiled, releasing her. "Glad you're back, Mrs. Kingston."

"And glad to be, Mr. Smith."

He stared at her for a moment. It was hard not to, after all. She was beautiful, and he was certain she didn't even try. "All right," he said, finally breaking his own trance. "Come along then. Karen has been gabbing all week about your long-awaited return."

She laughed and they ventured into the building. Karen just happened to be traipsing through just as they entered and she caught sight of those golden curls immediately. Squealing, she all but pounced on Alex, bringing her in for a lung-crushing embrace.

"Oh my god! Alex! Welcome back! I thought you'd never show up!" she said in her signature Scottish brogue.

"Always come back to you, Mum," Alex laughed. She really had developed a fondness for her "parents".

Just then, Arthur approached the trio, immediately joining in the welcoming party. "Daughter," he deadpanned, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Don't you ever leave us for that long again. We've been stuck with this one," he said as he punched Matt in the shoulder.

"Oi! Rude! I'm great company," Matt smiled at Alex.

"I'm sure, darling," she replied sweetly as she hugged Arthur.

"I really am!" he whined. "I will prove it to you. All of you. 'Cause you lot are coming to dinner with me tonight. Gotta celebrate your homecoming, Alex." He smiled affectionately at her.

Alex immediately resisted, as usual. "Darling, I don't think—"

"Oh, shut up Kingston. I've already made reservations! To deny me would just be rude."

She was just about to come up with some excuse when Steven joined them.

"Ah, Team TARDIS reunited. Exactly how much time do you plan on wasting with your gushing over Alex's arrival—hello, dear, by the way—? I'd like notice so I can adjust the schedule."

"Oh posh, Steven. We're professionals!" Alex scolded him. "Now do I not get a hug?"

"Of course, my River Song," he smiled warmly, giving her a quick hug. "Now… I _think_ this is a set which means some work should be getting done. Shall we?" He motioned for them to follow as he walked off.

"Dinner, Kingston!" Matt reminded her before running after Steven. "Oh, and you two!" he threw back over his shoulder at Karen and Arthur.

Alex rolled her eyes. "Daft man," she smiled fondly after him.

"So you'll be joining us then, yeah?" Karen asked hopefully.

Alex finally relented under the younger girl's puppy dog eyes. "Fine, fine! Only because it's been far too long."

"Lovely," Arthur grinned as he led them in the direction Steven and Matt had just departed in.

"So!" Matt exclaimed as they four slid into a booth at Alex's favorite restaurant. "How were the states?"

"Oh, perfectly all right," Alex replied. "Missed you all though."

"Naturally," Matt added. Alex rolled her eyes at him again. It had become her standard response.

As the night went on, the chatter amongst the four friends came easily and, if someone didn't initiate an end, they would definitely talk all night. Finally, Alex spoke up.

"All right, dears, I better be getting on," she smiled around at them.

"Nonsense!" Matt laughed. "It's only… ah, well, eleven." Evidently, he'd lost track of time.

"Indeed it is, darling, and I really ought to get some sleep tonight. It's sure to be a taxing week," she said, standing up.

"Oh?" he spoke, his concern evident.

"No need to be bothered with my ordinary woes. You three really should be getting to bed too though! Early day tomorrow."

"Suppose that's true," Karen yawned, joining her and putting on her coat. Matt was paying her no mind, however.

"Woes?" he prodded again. His plan to get to know her definitely involved learning what's bothering her.

But Alex simply laughed. "I'm being dramatic, darling," she assured him. "It's expected." She tossed him a sadder smile than the ones he'd been seeing earlier, and he wanted nothing more than to know what lay beneath it.

"Oh c'mon, Kingston. You—"

"_Really _should go. I'll see you all—" she started, but she was suddenly cut off by the whole restaurant beginning to shake. Just as suddenly, it was over.

"Alex, you all right?" Arthur shot up and grabbed her arm to steady her as she looked like she might topple over if she continued to stand on her own.

"Well—yeah! You didn't…" she searched the faces of her friends and the people around her. But all of their eyes met hers with confusion—except Matt's. She gazed at him as she continued, softer. "… You didn't feel that?"

Matt didn't say a word, but she knew he'd felt it too. The stared at each other, perplexed, but Arthur broke the spell. "Feel what, Alex?"

Her head snapped around to look at him. "I—thought it was… an earthquake."

"An earthquake in Cardiff?" Karen giggled. "Aren't those rare or something?"

"Quite," Matt chimed in, still looking at Alex with a quizzical yet somehow knowing expression.

"You must have… imagined it?" Arthur suggested gently.

Alex smiled at him, still slightly shaken. "Yeah, must have. Probably the jetlag."

"Probably," Matt added.

Alex tried to question him with her eyes but he wasn't getting it. "Right," she said, finding her efforts futile. "Well, I'll see you all tomorrow, then."

"Oh, I'll walk out with you! Get you in a cab, then," Karen smiled at her warmly. They team exchanged goodbyes and Karen and Alex departed, Alex sharing one quick glance over her shoulder with Matt as she walked out.

Yes, he had felt… whatever that was. It was odd of course, but maybe it was just a sympathetic reaction to his borderline obsession with understanding her. He was going to figure her out, he decided. He couldn't put his finger on it, but he was drawn to something about her. Like the Doctor was drawn to all the mysteries of the universe.


	2. Chapter 2

Aaaaaaaaaaand this is where it gets SUPER WEIRD. I'm just sitting her cackling because what even is this? But whatevs I mean… they're switching bodies. It's gotta get a little crazy, yeah? Yeah!

Title from Dream a Little Dream of Me

Chapter 2

In Your Dreams, Whatever they Be

Someone was shaking him awake, and, good god, it was far too early for that.

"Wake up sunshine!" a very proper British voice was shouting gleefully.

He grunted, opening his eyes. The figure came into focus after he furiously rubbed the weariness from his unhappy peepers. It was definitely not who he was expecting. Honestly, he hadn't expected anyone.

"Wha… Patrick Troughton?" he said incredulously.

"Good morning, sunshine!" smiled a very eccentric looking Mr. Troughton. He wore a red bowtie, suspenders, a tweed jacket… well, he wore Matt's costume.

Matt covered his eyes for a moment, willing the apparent ghost in his bedroom to disappear, but soon found that was not going to happen.

"I'm not leaving, Matthew," he smiled at Matt with the toothiest of grins.

"Well… wha… how did you get here? I'm sorry… erm, Mr. Troughton—"

"Please, please! We're all Doctors here. Call me Patrick."

"Right—Patrick. I'm sorry… but you are dead," he said gently. Between whatever was happening here and the earthquake, Matt was sure he'd gone mad, but that wouldn't be an excuse to hurt his hallucination's feelings.

Evidently not chuffed in the slightest, Patrick continued grinning. "Oh Matty, Matty, Matty. This is a dream."

Matt was definitely going to stop having jammy dodgers before bed.

"Close that mouth, lad! You'll catch flies."

"Right… why are you wearing my costume?" Matt asked, his brow furrowed so intensely he was sure he'd never be able to stop looking hopelessly confused.

"Well I don't know! It is _your_ subconscious. I don't mind this bowtie, actually. I wore a bowtie on occasion as well."

"Yeah… yeah, I know. Bowties are cool—wait," Matt decided indulging his insanity by discussing the benefits of bowties with the deceased Patrick Troughton in his bedroom might not be the grandest idea. "Why are you here? Is it the jammy dodgers?"

Patrick laughed at that. _Great_, Matt though. _Sharing a laugh with his subconscious._ He made a mental note to look for a therapist.

"Don't be daft! You've eaten one of those every night since you were eleven," he smiled. It was true, but Matt couldn't come up with anything else. "I'm here, Matthew, because you are going to wake up in the morning and something will be _very _different. Indeed, it will be a bit of a… er… shock. But not to worry! It won't last long."

It was _far too early_ for this. "Bloody hell. What are you on about?" he huffed, rubbing at his eyes again.

"I am on about your fate, Matthew. Your life is about to change dramatically. I simply figured you deserved a bit of a warning."

Matt stared up at him, eyes wide and jaw fallen open. Yes, he'd be finding a therapist first thing.

"You don't need a therapist, Matthew," Patrick answered his thoughts.

_Well_, Matt supposed, _that's not that weird. He is my thoughts._

"Oh, I'm a bit more than that, Matt."

_Okay, this could get old._

"Oh, our journey's only beginning! Do you believe in fate, Matthew?"

"Uh… I don't know."

Patrick nodded thoughtfully. _Well this isn't fair. How come I can't hear your thoughts?_

"Because I don't think so loudly!" he shouted, still smiling relentlessly. "Honestly, lad. Thoughts are a thing to be whispered. Anyway, Matt, consider me guide to your fate, I suppose."

"_What?_" He could not believe _how sodding early _it was for this.

"You've got a destiny, just as everyone has. I'm here to help you along with it. You see, Matthew, fate only gets you so far. You've got to do some work as well, but you haven't got to do it alone."

"Fine," he said aloud. No point in thinking it, after all. "You are completely, utterly mad, but I'll humour you. What's my destiny, Patrick?"

"In the morning, you'll understand," he replied simply.

"Right," Matt agreed, simply wanting to get rid of the vision now. "So I'll see you later then?"

Patrick laughed. "If you need me! I'll be in your head, of course."

"Right, got ya."

"It seems silly to you now, I'm sure, but do you not feel something coming, Matthew? Didn't you feel the earth shaking earlier tonight?"

Matt frowned. Yes, he did, but it was a trick of the mind. Just like this was.

"A trick of the mind? Interesting, that two minds might be tricked alike," Patrick stared at him knowingly as Matt immediately thought of Alex. It was rather uncomfortable. "Don't be so quick to doubt me," he added, winking. "We'll see how you feel _in the morning_."

Matt stared at him blankly, and, after a moment, said, "So can I go to sleep then? You ought to let me. So bloody excited about the morning…" he trailed off.

"Naturally. Close your eyes. I'll be gone when the open," he said with one last warm smile. "Good luck."

Matt closed his eyes, but in mere moments, it seemed, they were opening again.


	3. Chapter 3

Hello again, friends. I must admit I'm too lazy to name these chapters after song lyrics. I hope you don't mind!

Chapter 3

Alex could barely sleep a wink that night. Tossing and turning, she had the _strangest _dreams. Salome, dressed in one of those god-awful—what was it?—hipster jumpers Matt always wore, rambling on about fate and destiny and _the morning_.

When she finally did wake, she just lingered, perfectly still in her bed for a moment. She supposed her restlessness could have been the bed's fault too. The lot on which she, Matt, Karen, and Arthur stayed while filming in Cardiff was full of apartments that were as comfortable as crappy hotel rooms. With each of their flats next to another's and exactly the same down to the ugly wallpaper, she often got confused as to where she was. Once she tried to go to sleep in Karen's bed—she'd walked in to the girl's flat and didn't even notice a difference.

This morning, as it was only her second night, she still felt unfamiliar with the whole place. Somehow, she felt more odd than usual though. She felt oddly heavy and just… weirdly shaped. _Probably that jammy dodger I had before bed_, she chided herself.

Finally willing her legs to move—it seemed harder than usual somehow—she rose from bed. She just felt so strange. Oddly whole, but so very strange.

She wandered into the bathroom, catching herself in the mirror as she walked past. Except—it wasn't here in the mirror. For a moment she thought she caught sight of _someone else's _reflection as she walked by, but it was utter nonsense, obviously, so she just continued on without a second glance.

When she reached the bathroom, she expected to find her robe hanging on the single hook on the door where she thought she put it, but for some reason, it wasn't there. Next she checked the closet.

_None _of her clothes were there.

"What the hell?" she mumbled, coughing because her voice sounded particularly gravely this morning, as she thumbed through one of the strangest wardrobes she'd ever seen. Men's clothes—very strange men's clothes. Matt Smith's very strange men's clothes, to be exact.

_Not the wrong room again, _she thought, rather embarrassed. She walked back out to the bedroom, passing the mirror again. This time, however, when she saw someone else where her face should have been, she stopped.

Very slowly, she turned to face the mirror.

"That's not my face," she whispered matter-of-factly. She gasped when she saw the reflection of Matt Smith in the mirror say it along with her. She cautiously moved her hands to whatever face was on hers and touched it.

"Oh my god," Matt's voice said slowly as Alex watched Matt's hands rub Matt's face but _felt _her hands rub her face—her face that suddenly felt weirdly masculine.

For the first time that morning, she looked down and saw Matt Smith's body wearing just boxers. "Those are not my pants," she said aloud, her town very quickly going from calm to hysteria.

Bolting to the bathroom she ran straight for the full body mirror, and Matt Smith appeared in it.

"Oh my god," she whispered again. "Oh my god, _oh my god!_" She said it over and over again (Matt's voice coming out every time) completely at a loss for what to do.

Well, what does one do in this situation? When you wake up and suddenly you are not you but in fact one of your close-_ish _friends? What the hell do they do?

Alex flew from the room and out the door of the flat. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…" she whispered breathlessly as she walked down the hall to her own flat.

"Oh _god_, Matt! Put some clothes on!" a certain Scott groaned as the door on Alex's right flew open.

Alex spun around to face Karen, who looked playfully disgusted as she shuffled out of her flat. She nearly fell over with the rapid movements, suddenly gaining a new understanding of why Matt falls over so often. These legs were absolutely ridiculous. "Oh… um… sorry, Kazza," Alex said awkwardly, trying to make her voice sound deep and manly and Matt-ish as possible.

Karen stared at her like she was absolutely mad. _Rightfully_, Alex laughed humourlessly in her own mind.

"Why are you talking like that? Auditioning for lanky naked Santa Claus?" she teased as she looked her up and down.

"HA!" Alex laughed a little too hard—probably the insanity showing—and Karen jumped. "Uh… uh no. Just um… warming up my voice… you know, the Doctor, he's got a lot of, um, levels. I do it every morning," she finished quickly.

Karen was clearly not convinced. "In your underwear?" she snorted. "Walking through the halls?"

"Ah, yep," Alex smirked Matt's signature grin as best she could. _Walk away, Karen, walk away_, she tried to tell her telepathically.

"Okaaaay, well, I'll see you on set…" she looked at Alex with near concern in her eyes. "I've got to go in a bit early and take care of some stuff." She was walking backwards down the hall, eyeing Alex curiously as she bounced nervously on Matt's heels. "Um… have some tea before work, yeah? Chamomile… or green. You know, something soothing."

"Right," Alex said, coughing again. She kept forgetting she didn't need to try to alter her voice somehow. Karen waved goodbye awkwardly and left. Alex immediately let out a breath she didn't realize she was holding. She ran a hand over her face, breathing deeply for a moment, but then Matt's ridiculous hair fell in her eyes and she mechanically swept it away. _Oh_, she though_, that's why he does it_.

She walked carefully over to her flat. _Well, if he better be there in my body,_ she thought., _because where else could he go? _

"Better find Matt in my body!" she mumbled mockingly at herself. "Oh god, I'm bloody certifiable."

She took another deep breath and knocked on her door, still surprised by the pasty white man hand that was doing the knocking. She continued to knock incessantly until finally the door opened.

Sure enough, there _she _was. Her body, her face, her hair.

"Shit," she heard herself whisper.

"Matt?" she questioned uncomfortably.

Her face just stared back at her with wide eyes. Then the hand touched the hair and pulled one of the unruly curls in front of its eyes. Her own eyes looked back at her and she saw the mouth move and heard her own voice come out. "…Alex?"

She nodded Matt's head slowly. "So you're in… in there? In… me?" Oh, god did she sound foolish, but her own head nodded regardless and then smiled slightly.

"Cheeky," he responded to the innuendo. Somehow the classic Matt smirk had just as much effect when it happened on her face.

"Oh, shut up!" she whacked his shoulder, but gently because she didn't want to cause her own body pain. This situation was absolutely absurd.

"All right. Well if we're not going to joke about it… Alex," Matt said, looking slightly frightened, "what the hell is going on?"


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the wait, my friends. It's been a busy week! Thanks so much for sticking with me :D

Chapter 4

After going into Alex's flat where Matt was apparently going to have to stay, they described their respective dreams and endured several bouts of hysterics because _what the fuck is going on? _But they both agreed the situation wasn't under their control, and until they could ask dream-Patrick and dream-Salome why this was happening, as mad as that sounded, they would have to… Be each other.

"We're going to have to call Steven," Alex huffed as she took a swig from a bottle of scotch. Very early in the conversation they decided alcohol was most definitely necessary despite the time of day.

Matt scoffed. "Oh I can hear that conversation! 'Hey Alex!' 'Hi Steven, actually this isn't Alex. This is Matt in Alex's body! Mad right? Yep. We both had some acid-trippy dreams and now we're in each others bodies. Brilliant!'" Alex didn't like seeing that level of sarcasm come out of her mouth. It wasn't flattering.

"Matt!" she put a hand on her hip and used the other to gesticulate. Matt didn't like the amount of femininity in his lanky body's stance. It wasn't becoming. "We've got to get out of filming somehow! I don't know your lines! And, god, I don't know how to _be you_ let alone be the damn Doctor!" she continued.

He walked up to her and his small hands gingerly gripped Alex's biceps. In that instance they became aware of how insane they would look had anyone been around to see them. In Alex's small frame, Matt had hunched toward her, sticking his chin out a bit. It must have been habit since he was used to such a massive one. Alex had her hands at her sides and her hip out with this offended-teenage-girl look on her face. On Matt's face. It was ridiculous, and they knew it. Matt cracked a smile first as he began to comfortingly rub up and down the arms he'd been working to shape up, the arms that now belonged to Alex's mind. With that they were laughing until tears sprung in their eyes.

"Oh Kingston," he sighed as the chucking died down. "I think we've lost it."

"Well, Smith," she responded, staring at their reflection in a nearby mirror. "I think you're quite right. But seriously, what on earth are we going to do?"

He looked at her a moment and then decisively got to his—her—feet, snatching the telephone and dialing Stephen. Before Alex knew what was happening, he'd tossed her the phone. It was already ringing and Alex couldn't stop it.

"What are you doing?" she whispered angrily at him even though Steven wasn't actually there to hear.

He smirked at her. "It's all right. Just repeat after me." Seeing the look of pure hatred she tossed at him, he chose to elaborate. "Look, all of your scenes are with me today, so you'll just call and tell him I—Matt—am ill, and then we'll sort this out so we're ready to get back to work tomorrow."

"That's a rubbish plan! We can't just-" she began, but it was too late. Steven had answered the phone.

"Hello Matthew." Steven voice sounded from the phone and Alex stared at Matt, eyes-wide, questioning. "Hello? Hello?" the voice continued.

"Hey! Hi!" Alex shouted into the phone, closing her eyes tightly and chiding herself. _Stay cool, Alex. But—Matt's not cool._

"Er—hi…" Steven said awkwardly. Alex waved her hands at Matt, desperately seeking some sort of direction to his bloody plan. "Uh, Matt, you called me, remember?"

"Yeah, yeah. Sorry… Moff," she threw in, trying to seem Matt-ish.

"Tell him you're sick!" Matt whispered, approaching her so he could overhear the discussion.

"Right, Steven, I just," she groaned for effect. "I've just been really sick all night. Must food poisoning or something, but I'm just completely knackered. I'm really sorry but"—another dramatic groan and a kind of choking sound, to which Matt gave a thumbs up—"I just don't think I can come in today. I'm really sorry."

"Uh-huh..." they could hear the slightly unconvinced tone of his voice and Alex grimaced, scowling at Matt. "Well, all right. I suppose that will be fine. We're mostly doing some stuff with Karen and Arthur anyway, but do you know if Alex has food poisoning? If not we might be able to push up some solo scenes she has." He sounded mildly accusatory but playful enough to convince Matt they were in the clear.

Alex however was flipping out inwardly. Yes she most certainly _did _have food poisoning.

"Well… um… she did have dinner with me last night. Running lines, you know?" she improvised.

She thought she heard Steven chuckle, but decided it was unlikely. "Right, well, forget that. Would you mind letting her know she doesn't need to come in today? A bit busy on my end."

"Yeah, yeah of course."

"Right, well, bye then. Rest up and such," Steven said.

"Yeah of course. Have a nice day shooting. Ya know... Adios," Alex cringed and Matt Snorted.

"Adios?" he mouthed. "When have you ever heard me say that?"

"Right…" Steven said, clearly confused, and then hung up.

"We are never going to get away with this!" she said, slamming the phone on the counter.

Matt softly punched her chin. "Not with that attitude!" He chuckled, running a finger along her chin, his chin. "Well, it is a bit oddly shaped, isn't it?"

At this she smiled. "It's actually quit a bit harder to keep my mouth closed. It weighs the jaw down."

"Hey! Not like you're perfect. No wonder River has to wear high heels. Bit of shorty, Kingston!" he laughs, bouncing on her heels.

Alex walks over to tower over her. She doesn't by much, but it's such a novel experience that it's still fun. "You're right. It's rather fun being up here."

"Well you don't have to rub it in my face," he smirks, gazing up at her.

She pauses and then quickly turns away. "No," she declares. "I can't do it. Flirting with myself is just too weird."

"Well we better get used to it because who knows how long this will last? And I can only resist flirting for so long. I'm a bit of sucker for it," he grins cheekily.

Alex rolls her eyes, and Matt still doesn't like the way it looks on his face. It's definitely more adorable on hers. "Well we'll sort all that out when it becomes a more pressing issue. We've sort of got other things to deal with, like our _jobs_."

"Well we've got all day, we'll learn each others lines. I mean, I don't know, we can be each other, can't we? We can teach each other."

She just stares at him, unconvinced. Rolling his own eyes (which again reminds him how adorable it probably looked) he approaches her. "Look. Like the Doctor, it's a lot of just…" he spins around clumsily. "Go on, try it."

"Matt," she sighs. "We can't just show each other how to act. It's not going to be very easy. And what about Salome? What about Karen and Arthur and the press? What if you need to go on a date or to a party or something?"

He puts his hands on her arms again and smiles sympathetically. "Alex, we can do this. River and the Doctor could do it, couldn't they?" he winks at her as she fights an amused smile. "Look, you can tell me all about Salome, and, I don't know, we can watch old interviews and episodes and… observe. We'll just get really good at impersonating each other. We're friends. It'll be fine. We just might have to spend more time together, you know? Figure each other out."

"_More _time together?" she smiles at him incredulously. "Outside of set? What, are you suggesting we live together Matthew? How will I possibly manage?"


	5. Chapter 5

AHHHHH I'M SO SORRY *stands shamefully in a corner*. There is no excuse for how long I've made you wait, so I won't give one! I promise promise promise to update more frequently Enjoy!

Chapter 5

"_More time together?" she smiles at him incredulously. "Outside of set? What, are you suggesting we live together Matthew? How will I possibly manage?"_

He _was _suggesting that. Kind of. A little bit. Certainly that would be the _best_ way for them to _truly _get to know each other.

Matt shrugged. "Well… I mean, we could, ya know? 'Cause either way we'd have to switch rooms—"

"You don't think Karen and Arthur and whoever else would be a bit suspicious if you and I went to bed and woke up in the same room every night?" The expression that Alex wore on Matt's face was a cross between amusement and what Matt hoped was consideration (though it could easily have been fear). But he would have hoped that _any_ woman would consider sleeping with him—living with him—not just Alex.

He wasn't sure if they were still flirting, and he needed to get it back to that point. "Kingston, darling, what on earth would they have to be suspicious about? It's not like anything will happen. Why they would _even _jump to that, I have no idea. Surely you should get that mind of yours out of the gutter!"

Yes, her face is definitely all sultry again. He knows what his own get-in-my-pants face looks like, and she is definitely wearing it.

"Fine. My place or yours?"

"Which is which?"

She rolled her eyes, the we-just-switched-bodies jokes becoming less and less amusing. "Well, I don't want to have to move all my stuff when this is over, so we'll just stay here. Now why don't you go get your clothes."

"Don't you think that would look odd? Alex Kingston trekking to and from Matt Smith's flat carrying all his possessions. I think _you _ought to be doing that."

She wore a full-blown scowl now. "I think I might get tired of you _quite_ quickly Matthew."

"Oooh, don't want to get caught doing that in public! Better start calling me Alex!"

"If that wasn't my face, I would _so_ slap you!"

Matt simply couldn't hide his own cheeky grin. He just loved getting her so fired up, even though he couldn't see it on _her _face. "What a predicament! Now _Matt_, won't you go gather your things? While you're gone I'll make you a lovely breakfast. If I still can, that is. Do you think your lack of cooking skills lies in your hands or your mind?" He stared at her hands—his hands—pondering as he spoke. They were really quite pretty. He'd never seem a pair so pretty in his life. Odd thing to find so pretty… _hands._

"I hate you."

"You don't," he answered automatically, still staring at her hands. "Probably not the hands, anyway. They're much too lovely to bad at anything."

"Yes, _Alex_," she smirked. "Those hands are quite talented. You have no idea." And just like that she was winning their flirtatious battle again.

Cheeks flushing, he stared wide-eyed at her and for the first time was glad he was in a female body. How on _earth_ could she have that kind of effect on him? Any woman would, he convinced himself, saying something like that.

And with that she was out the door.

He walked into the kitchen, unsure of what she might keep in it. As he searched through the pantry and refrigerator, he soon found that she kept pretty much nothing. "What do you _eat_?" he muttered as he pulled out half a loaf of moldy bread. _Perhaps we should stay at mine_, he thought.

He went off to find Alex, as there was know way they'd be eating in after all. "Kings—Matt!" He shouted as he meandered into what was his own flat.

"Not making me breakfast then?" she looked up at him from packing his most plain looking apparel into an old gym bag that must have been in his closet.

"It would help if you possessed anything edible. Have you gone hunger strike or something? Is that why you're so tiny?" he placed his hands on his waist to feel how tiny it was.

"Hey! Don't touch me like that!" she scolded him and he laughed.

"You're just upset that you can't feel it!"

In retaliation, she slowly moved one of her hands down her chest. "Have you been working out, Matthew?" she smirked, hoping she wasn't blushing at the idea of having full access to_ all_ of him.

"Um… yeah," he watched, dazed. "Uh-hey. Why don't you stop that? And um, let's go get food. Nourishment, you know. Good stuff."

She looked down at herself. "Matt—Alex—I don't think I'm ready to go out looking like you! I don't know how to _be_ you."

"Look, it'll just be a dry run! You know, before we have to go be with Karen, Arthur, Steven, all those people who actually _know_ us. And we can correct each other if we're acting wrong."

Alex rolled her eyes. "This is just _so _ridiculous. Why on earth would it happen to us?"

Matt shrugged. "I dunno. It's our fate, Alex. I don't really get it, but I don't think we can fix it."

"But you and I—we're not even that close! I mean, good friends, but what have we got to learn from switching bodies?"

"Well, Salome and Patrick Troughton seem to think we can learn a lot."

Alex laughed at that, recalling again how bizarre her night had been. "Bloody loons, we are."

Matt smiled at her. "I always have been. Come on, I'll tell you all about it." He held out a hand to her and pulled her to her feet.

"All right, Mr. Smith. Tell me my secrets, and maybe I'll tell you yours."


	6. Chapter 6

*crawls out from under a rock* h-hey. Hey beautiful people of the internet. I'm super sorry again. Clearly I'm not a fantabulous updater. BUT I'M REALLY GOING TO FINISH THIS EVENTUALLY REALLY I AM. AND I LOVE YOU. Yes _you._ So read on… enjoy… I'm sorry… don't hate me :0

Chapter 6

After Alex gathered Matt's belongings, the pair returned to her flat to change for breakfast, a thought that presented yet another confounding dilemma.

"Uh… Matt?" Alex said awkwardly, holding a combination of clothes that was she felt might be strange enough for him to actually wear.

He was in her bedroom, searching through her closet for something that would look lovely on her, but, that being everything, he hadn't gotten very far. "Yeah?"

She shuffled nervously, almost tripping over her own feet. She huffed at how difficult his body was to maneuver with its ridiculous gangly limbs. "Well—when you change—I mean, could you… um… close your eyes?"

He spun around in a very _Matt_ fashion, which he would have to stop because Alex's body looked ridiculous doing it. "Oh," he said simply. _Right. She's naked under here._ "Yeah—yeah! Of course. Yeah. I mean. You too, then, yeah?" He was floundering because, yes, he had thought about Alex in that way before. What she looks like anyway. He'd seen _Moll Flanders_ and _Essex Boys_, probably more times than she needed to know, but it wasn't his fault! It was hers, really, being all gorgeous and what not. He wanted to respect her, but he hadn't realized that changing clothes while his mind was in her body would probably be the only chance he'd get to _see_. But then if he looked, well, he was quite sure he'd never be able to get over it—get over her.

"Yes! Of course. It's just—weird. You know?" she said, her cheeks flushing royally. Matt's pasty white skin was no help in hiding her bashfulness. "I'm not embarrassed or anything, but—it's you." His head shot up with hope at that. "Friends shouldn't see each other naked."

_Oh_. "No, no of course not. I agree. One hundred percent!" he hoped she didn't pick up on the disappointment in his voice and body language, but it was _her _voice and body language, so she probably did. "Whenever life requires that was bare something that we really shouldn't be looking at, we close our eyes."

"Right," she smiled. He thought she looked almost sad, but it was probably his imagination. "Better get to it then." She held up his clothes and walked past him into the bathroom to change. As soon as she shut the door, she dropped to the floor and leaned against the bathtub. Letting out a deep breath and running a hand through his hair, she chided herself for nothing in particular. Maybe for asking Matt not to look at her naked body which was now his. It wasn't like she thought he should see it, she just wanted him too—no, that wasn't right either. She was trying incredibly hard to not understand what her embarrassment and flirting and _everything _meant, but she could hardly deny it: she was a mad, old, heartsick woman. She wanted to protect him from her despicable cougar tendencies and protect herself because, if he looked underneath those clothes, she new he wouldn't like what he saw. Or something. And she just wasn't sure she could take it.

Outside the door, Matt was contradicting her every self-deprecating thought with his own musings. He looked down at her body, then into the mirror, and all he could think was that she is perfect. He wished he could tell her because who doesn't like to hear that they're perfect? But she just saw him as kid, and it'd probably sound weird and creepy.

After each conquered the task of changing without the help of sight, Matt and Alex walked to a nearby café. They were in Cardiff, so Whovians were always about, but they were more or less successful in going under the radar.

"I wonder," Matt began, "if what I usually drink will still taste good to me… or if I'll have to get your order." He shuddered at the thought and Alex playfully smacked him on the arm. "Careful, Matty," he smirked as a few people glanced at them, "can't hit a girl."

Alex rolled her eyes. "Oh, I think you can handle it."

They ordered their drinks from the café and promptly had to switch once they realized taste buds had remained in their respective bodies.

"All right," Alex sighed as they began the trek back. "Where should we start?"

"Let's see…" Matt thought. "I'm Alex Kingston. Sexiest woman alive. Can barely keep my clothes on when I get in front of a camera. Can flirt with a stick. Beautiful daughter whom I love more than anything on this earth. Terribly kind. Did I leave anything out?"

His quick analysis earned another eye roll from Alex. "Doesn't respond well to flattery?" she huffed. "I'm Matt Smith. Mind of a child. Floppy hair that truly is impossible. Cocky at times, but can usually back it up. Love my best friends _Kazza _and _Darvill_—"

"And Kingston," Matt added.

"_And_ the fabulous Alex Kingston and my sister the most. Still loves football. Misses it a bit. But really content. And I love the Doctor."

"All very true. I think we'll be fine. If we don't know something about 'ourselves', we'll just make it up, yeah? No-one will know. I mean, _obviously_. It's not like they're going to guess that we've switched bodies."

"You never know. The Whovians know anything is possible."

"Ah, oh well! It'll be exciting!" Matt grinned at her. It still hadn't set in—the phenomenon of looking at someone else and seeing her face. It was all cute and fun now, but just how long would they be stuck like this? Suddenly her cell phone's ring interrupted her thoughts.

"Oh I'm receiving a call! A Kingston call!" Matt pulled her phone out of the purse he was carrying and looked to see who it was. "Uh-oh," he looked up at her worriedly.

She looked at the screen and immediately understood why. It read _Florian Haertel_. She couldn't just ignore it (Florian didn't _just call_ to chat for fun; it had to be important). Matt was going to have to be in character for a conversation with Alex's ex-husband on his first day on the job. He knew Florian and Alex were okay/not great, but he didn't know how do be Alex-talking-to-Florian. And it sounded scary.


End file.
